I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
…
Read the speech here.
Eating fruits and vegetables in season gives you the best tasting version of these foods. You can download this Seasonal Fruits and Veggies list if you’d like.
“Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, step back.
The only path to serenity.”
- Lao Tzu
Absolutes are rarely true. I’m not sure this is the “ONLY” path to serenity. However, the sentiment ahead of this rings true to me. I also find similar wisdom when reading certain passages in the bible like Ecclesiastes 5:10-12:
“Whoever loves money never
has money enough;
whoever loves wealth is never
satisfied with his income.
This too is meaningless.
As goods increase,
so do those who consume them.
And what benefit are they
to the owner except
to feast his eyes on them?
The sleep of a laborer is sweet,
whether he eats little or much,
but the abundance of a rich man
permits him no sleep.”
Yep, you read that right. I have had poop in my mouth. First, I’ll answer the three most obvious questions:
Now, for the scoop on the poop…
When my beautiful first born daughter was all a few months old, she was small enough to bathe in our kitchen sink…which was very cute and we have a lot of pictures. It was always such an incredible experience to see her floating there, small enough to hold in the palm of my hand. I was usually in awe when I wasn’t just having fun.
My experience with diapers wasn’t what you would call at expert level at the time. I had changed a few, and was able to do so without incident. This time, I would regret my decision to “try something new.”
My daughter had just finished taking care of business and it was my turn (don’t let that fool you – my wife did most of the diapers…by “turn” I mean, maybe 1 in 5 – or worse…) Anyway, I decided that since she was such a mess, and she would have to have a bath, it would be much quicker to skip the middle part of wiping and cleaning and just skip straight to the sink.
I held my daughter up with one hand under her arms (she was very small), and with the other hand I reached for the sprayer, as she reached for something entirely less innocent with her hand. I had already turned on the water to get it the right temperature and was just about to “hose her down” when she firmly planted her entire hand, up to her wrist, in my mouth.
I thought it was so cute until I realized there was something on her hand.
You know, when I used to hold her when we’d walk down stairs, or on slippery pavement, I would always think about how if I fell, I would cradle her at all costs…even if it mean breaking my neck…to protect her. It was time to put this instinct to the test.
In a moment I realized exactly what was on her hand (her reaching back with the other hand to get another load was a pretty good clue). I screamed.
To her credit, my wife ran in like she was on fire to see what was the matter. As I passed off the child I had just saved from falling onto the tile in that moment of realization, I said something like, “Uh thukk uh haa oop in muh mouth.”
The top 5 reactions to having poop in your mouth:
There are no other reactions…the title was a bait and switch. I mean, come on…what would you do?
Ok fine…
Well, here I am. I’ve had blogs, I’ve deleted blogs. Now, I’m going to try my hand at curating this one. My first post will be one of my favorite stories (because it’s funny, not because of the warm fuzzy memory you might think it provides). Anyway, here we go…
